Tretyakov

I. Love. Art. So much. And there are tons of huge art exhibits here in Moscow. Slowly but surely, I'm getting to them. I went to the Tretyakov gallery a while ago, which is home to the largest collection of Russian art in the world. It's so big, it has two locations. 

This is the facade of the old gallery. It had SO much art. And most of it was stuff I didn't really recognize, so it was cool to see things like this:

ROMANOV! I'm sure I've already expressed my fascination with them, but here we go again: I love Russian royalty. Especially the Romanovs. 

Part of living in Russia is living the art. There is so much around me in this city that is literally awesome. St. Basil's Cathedral, for example, is so old and so beautiful and I can see it whenever I want. This painting of an uprising in Red Square shows St. Basil's in the background. It's amazing to think of the significance of these places in history. I learned about St. Basil's in my Humanities class in ninth grade. It was so fascinating. I should have a blog post just for this church, but I don't know where the pictures are. Long story short (and according to legend), Tsar Ivan the Terrible had this church built in the 1550s. When the architect was finished, Ivan poked his eyes out so that he could never create anything MORE beautiful. 

And speaking of Ivan: here is the handsome devil! And speaking of Humanities: I REMEMBER STUDYING THIS EXACT PIECE! Maybe it's not that cool...yes it is. I specifically remember this piece and I stumbled upon it in a Russian art museum. What are the chances? So anyway, next we went to the Modern Tretyakov. I only took pictures of what's in the back though. It's a graveyard for old monuments and art, so it was kinda fun. 

Lots of soviet influenced statues that portrayed oppression and the importance of power--obviously themes of the USSR (or in Russian, the CCCP!). I guess it's out-dated, so they just stuck it in a park with a bunch of other old art. In the background is this:

Peter the Conqueror. Lots of people think this is a weird statue, but I love it! It's so big and so strange. It's just in the Moscow River. 

So, come to Moscow for the ART! It's everywhere. It's amazing. Some of it's weird. I'll show ya the good stuff;) Until then, до свидания!

ESL--English as a Second Language

Don't get me wrong -- I wish English was my second language. You know, both my parents are fluent in German. They served full-time missions there for two years. My mom is half German and my dad is a quarter. Wouldn't you think they'd teach their kids? YEAH, ME TOO. But no, they wanted a secret language. Anyway, I'd kill to be a native German speaker. 


PICTURE THIS. You are a fabulously talented T-shirt designer, and English is your second language. Recently you've wanted to have some English writing on your shirts. So you come up with a few good ideas, and then what? You run it by a native English speaker, right? One would think. I've been noticing increasing numbers of shirts that just don't make sense here. I love it though; it's hilarious. Take a look:

"My Little Black Dress." Excuse me, but there is nothing black about that dress. That dark color you're seeing is blue. I don't think this is an appropriate substitute for a cocktail dress anyway. But thanks for the laugh. 

This one just makes me chuckle. I guess that's probably what penguins think about...except when they're freezing their little tushies off! Don't people watch March of the Penguins??

This shirt makes no sense. I guess it got lost in translation...BUT, this is the best EVER:

In case you think you're misreading this shirt that is very clearly on a BOY, it says "I'm a very famous girl." Well, okay. YOU GO GIRL. LOUD AND PROUD HONEY. Note to self: It's not just about the designer. Make sure you know what your shirt says before you wear it. Or don't, and provide humor for the thousands. 

So come to Moscow and see the very well-dressed and the very strangely-dressed. We can even buy you a shirt with Russian writing! But we'll make sure the message is appropriate. Until then, до свидания!