Tretyakov

I. Love. Art. So much. And there are tons of huge art exhibits here in Moscow. Slowly but surely, I'm getting to them. I went to the Tretyakov gallery a while ago, which is home to the largest collection of Russian art in the world. It's so big, it has two locations. 

This is the facade of the old gallery. It had SO much art. And most of it was stuff I didn't really recognize, so it was cool to see things like this:

ROMANOV! I'm sure I've already expressed my fascination with them, but here we go again: I love Russian royalty. Especially the Romanovs. 

Part of living in Russia is living the art. There is so much around me in this city that is literally awesome. St. Basil's Cathedral, for example, is so old and so beautiful and I can see it whenever I want. This painting of an uprising in Red Square shows St. Basil's in the background. It's amazing to think of the significance of these places in history. I learned about St. Basil's in my Humanities class in ninth grade. It was so fascinating. I should have a blog post just for this church, but I don't know where the pictures are. Long story short (and according to legend), Tsar Ivan the Terrible had this church built in the 1550s. When the architect was finished, Ivan poked his eyes out so that he could never create anything MORE beautiful. 

And speaking of Ivan: here is the handsome devil! And speaking of Humanities: I REMEMBER STUDYING THIS EXACT PIECE! Maybe it's not that cool...yes it is. I specifically remember this piece and I stumbled upon it in a Russian art museum. What are the chances? So anyway, next we went to the Modern Tretyakov. I only took pictures of what's in the back though. It's a graveyard for old monuments and art, so it was kinda fun. 

Lots of soviet influenced statues that portrayed oppression and the importance of power--obviously themes of the USSR (or in Russian, the CCCP!). I guess it's out-dated, so they just stuck it in a park with a bunch of other old art. In the background is this:

Peter the Conqueror. Lots of people think this is a weird statue, but I love it! It's so big and so strange. It's just in the Moscow River. 

So, come to Moscow for the ART! It's everywhere. It's amazing. Some of it's weird. I'll show ya the good stuff;) Until then, до свидания!

ESL--English as a Second Language

Don't get me wrong -- I wish English was my second language. You know, both my parents are fluent in German. They served full-time missions there for two years. My mom is half German and my dad is a quarter. Wouldn't you think they'd teach their kids? YEAH, ME TOO. But no, they wanted a secret language. Anyway, I'd kill to be a native German speaker. 


PICTURE THIS. You are a fabulously talented T-shirt designer, and English is your second language. Recently you've wanted to have some English writing on your shirts. So you come up with a few good ideas, and then what? You run it by a native English speaker, right? One would think. I've been noticing increasing numbers of shirts that just don't make sense here. I love it though; it's hilarious. Take a look:

"My Little Black Dress." Excuse me, but there is nothing black about that dress. That dark color you're seeing is blue. I don't think this is an appropriate substitute for a cocktail dress anyway. But thanks for the laugh. 

This one just makes me chuckle. I guess that's probably what penguins think about...except when they're freezing their little tushies off! Don't people watch March of the Penguins??

This shirt makes no sense. I guess it got lost in translation...BUT, this is the best EVER:

In case you think you're misreading this shirt that is very clearly on a BOY, it says "I'm a very famous girl." Well, okay. YOU GO GIRL. LOUD AND PROUD HONEY. Note to self: It's not just about the designer. Make sure you know what your shirt says before you wear it. Or don't, and provide humor for the thousands. 

So come to Moscow and see the very well-dressed and the very strangely-dressed. We can even buy you a shirt with Russian writing! But we'll make sure the message is appropriate. Until then, до свидания!

A Short Note on Traffic

Traffic here is ridiculous. If you don't believe me, check out this video. 

You'll notice a few things. First, there is no accident in this picture. The problem is purely the number of people on the roads here. Second, at :43 you can see some cars moving between the two lines of traffic. That is not their lane. That is illegal. However, not driving that way literally gets you nowhere. It can take two hours to get from the city center to my house. Which is less than five miles! This exact situation happened to me:

I tried to capture the seemingly infinite number of cars that were just stopped on the road. Zero movement. This is not unusual for Moscow. What is unusual happened next:

CLEAR ROADS. What? After we passed an intersection, everything opened up. I was in the car with a friend who has lived here for about ten years and she said Medvedev or Putin must have been on the roads. When they need to get somewhere, they close the roads so they have no traffic. Clearly, this country values nothing if not efficiency. That was such a frustrating day. 

But hey, I was stopped in traffic for PUTIN. Don't you want to be able to say that? Friends, this really is the best time to visit Russia. You don't have to pay for a hotel, taxis, or tour guides. We can provide all of that for you. Don't wait until we find out we're moving, because by then it will be too late. My parents always say how they would LOVE people to visit. We have plenty of room! Come visit and maybe you'll be lucky enough to NOT have much traffic! (Actually, summer is the best time of the year for that!) Until next time, до свидания!

9 мая -- день Победы

Ninth of May -- Victory Day, that is to us who only speak 'Murrican ;)


This is Russia's Celebration of V-E Day, and it's pretty cool. People always tell me May is the prime month of the year in Russia, and part of Victory Day's charm is that it's always warm and sunny for the parade. Not so, my friends. The one year that Katie gets to spend at the Victory Day parade: CLOUDY AND COLD. "No matter," said we, as my family and I got up early to get a good spot along Тверская Yлица (Tverskaya Street) so that we could see the infamous parade. 

So these bad boys were parked right in front of us for about 20 minutes while the other half of the parade merged onto the street ahead. They say it's the only day that police officers and military guys smile and wave at people. And wave they did! They tried to ignore us for a while, but the Burt girls in my ward and I wouldn't give up. We got a smile and a wave. 

Mоя семья. My family. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Oh check out my mom's flag. People wave these and tie orange&black striped ribbon to cars and bags and everything. The orange represents the fire from the war and the black represents smoke. I'm pretty sure...

Alright, HOW COOL is that? It's huge, and just driving through the square. Mark's quote was "Why doesn't America have this stuff?!" To which my dad explained that they do, they just don't flaunt it. Then of course we had an active definition of the word "flaunt" for Mark. I swear, living with these people is something else. I also like this picture because you can see one of Moscow's many statues that mark historical events. Right below this spot is a very important Metro stop, I just learned. Stalin addressed a crowd in the central hall of the station, which is the first to sport a new colonnade style when built in 1938 (for my fellow lovers of architecture).

The whole group. Now how does it feel, friends, to not be in this picture? Pretty bad right? Lucky for you, there are tons of things like this in Moscow, so if you visit me, we can take pictures and talk about our wicked experiences at historical sites. Sounds awesome, right? I know. More to come soon! Until next time, до свидания!

When Depression Hits.

On the way home from a vacation full of sun and happiness, just imagine how I felt looking out the airplane window to THIS:

Snow. In mid-April. I wanted to cry. It's been a long winter, friends. I'm a Texan, I get two days of snow and call it a successful year. I've have loved all the snow, but enough is enough. 

At least when I landed it wasn't too bad. In the city, the snow is mostly gone, and it's well above freezing. This means, friends, that Spring really is upon us! 'What's the prettiest month in Moscow?' I ask my native buds, and guess what they say! MAY. 

SO. You better get your plane tickets booked. I am not kidding when I say we want visitors! We have plenty of beds, and we have nice weather. And come on, you know you want to be able to tell everyone you've seen the Moscow Kremlin. And not just in Mission Impossible. DAVAI, get your booties over here! Until then, до свидания!

Happy Spring!

Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn. -Lewis Grizzard

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" -Robin Williams

Well, friends, there ya have it! March marks the beginning of Spring in Moscow. The "party" to which Williams is referring is called Maslenitsa. At this celebration, loud music is played and a doll representing Winter is burned. They also eat pancakes.

SO, just thought I'd attach a picture of the beautiful spring weather! It's pretty hard to tell, but it's snowing and quite windy. But, Grizzard, if you wanna wake up and go party in the March wind, all the Russians are doing it!

That's pretty much a perfect depiction of what Moscow looks like for most of Winter. Cold, dark, snowy, and overcast. At least it's warmed up though! It's right about freezing currently. The other day, we hit -33C. Yes, I'll be able to tell my grandchildren that I walked to school in that. So come to Moscow so you, too, can tell your kids stories about your nose hairs freezing when you walk outside! Until next time, до свидания!

The Metro

Every great city has one: an underground train system. The universal burning rubber smell...♥ In London it's The Tube, in NYC it's the Subway, but here in Moscow, it's just the Metro. It's one of the best in the world. I personally like it because whenever I'm going somewhere, I'm usually in a hurry, and I wouldn't like waiting for ten minutes for a ride. I've never had to wait more than two minutes for the next metro car. It's incredibly efficient and in the center of the city, the stops are pretty close together. Here's a map:

Pretty straightforward, right? UH, NO. If you'll notice, there is a dark blue line and a light blue line on the map. Underground, the colors are switched. And there is an "Arbatskaya" on both of them. Try to meet someone at Arbatskaya on the blue line, I dare you. It's actually not that bad once you get used to it. I'm on the dark green line at Sokol. It's fourth from the top. There are some really beautiful metro stops. 

Chandeliers and gold leafing. Very Russian. I love going to the pretty stops. I get to appreciate Russian art without going out of my way. It's incredible that they make the metro so beautiful. It's crazy to think that this is just the underground transportation. And they're pretty clean too!

This one always reminds me of the Ministry of Magic building. Every time I come here I ready myself for a raging duel that is sure to break out one of these days.


So come to Russia and ride the Metro with me! Seriously, my mom hardly ever lets me ride it alone, so I need a buddy. There is a lot more where these pictures came from, and you should definitely come check it out. And preferably before I forget all my English. ;) Until next time, До свидания!

Soviets Train 'Em Young

The foundation of every state is the education of its youth.
-Diogenes Laertius



Everybody knows how Russian gymnasts are always incredible in the Olympics. Well the other day, I went on a bike ride with Mark so he could go fishing in a little pond. On the other side of the pond was a pretty old and decrepit playground. It was actually pretty gross, and I would hope nobody would ever let their child play there. I went straight for a bench so I could do my homework while Mark fished, and this is what I found:

Beer can and cigs. Nice. So here I was at an abandoned playground, now the hang out place for immature teens. The sad part is, that might not be true. I bet a lot of kids still play here, but it was eerily empty while I was there, so being the easily distracted person that I am, after I did some homework, I explored a little bit. 

Once I took a closer look I noticed these beauties. The ring things from the Olympics! How interesting that among all of the other pieces of entertainment, this was just casually there. I can see some completely jacked little six-year-old hanging upside-down on these, laughing along with his other friends. Makes it easy to envision our twenty-six year old buddy in the Olympics. 

This was just around the corner. Now I know its brainwashing. "Hey little Vlad, let's compete with Alexi and see who has the coolest tricks!" That's exactly how they wanted them to think. THAT, ladies and gents is how you build an army. Well, an army of Olympiads. 

So friends, come to Russia. I miss you, and together we will discover lots of Stalin's grand ideas. It'll be fun, promise. Until next time, до свидания!

Russian Hockey Team

I'm sure you all heard about the hockey team Lokomotiv that died in a plane crash about a month ago. Russia loves its hockey, so it was not uncommon to see this in the streets:

This is on New Arbott--a very busy street in the center of Moscow. It's a pile of flowers outside a sports store with jerseys of the players that died. For weeks after the accident piles of flowers such as this could be found in a lot of places. 

It's extremely sad, but if you come to Moscow and join a team and die, people that love you will put flowers all over the city for you. Now since that's highly improbable, and you'll live through a visit to Moscow easily, think of what your fans will do for you when you're alive! Come visit and see! Until next time, до свидания!

Mullets&Braids

"Business in the front; party in the back"
-Billy Ray Cyrus


Just a short blurb about Moscow: Hairstyles. 


 So first: People here can get really creative with braids. I always try to take pictures, but I guess my people watching skills are not THAT good, because I end up following people for two whole departments of IKEA only to get a blurry or cropped picture. I'll work on that. 

So yes, this is the girl I followed for a long time. And its not even that good of a picture. She has a braid that starts at the bottom of her head and fountains at the top with a pink flower. I thought it was too interesting to let it pass. Man, I'm creepy. Maybe I'll work on that too.

Well, believe it or not, the woman in the black also has a braid that sort of wraps itself around the base of her head. It was cool.

Alex Self, I just had to throw this in there for you. <3 MaHH loHHve. 

This woman's hair is just AWESOME. So fluffy. I almost went up and pet her hair like a dog's. 

Ah, our next hairstyle is demonstrated here. The mullet. кефаль. der Meeräsche. Business in the front; party in the back. ;) For some reason beyond me, they're socially acceptable here. 

I'm seriously considering people watching as a career. You probably think (or hope) I'm kidding.

Aaaaand the grand finale, the mullet ponytail. For anyone out there who gets this, it reminds me of Zarahemla. But this would be a little harder to scalp. 


So, for those of you who enjoy people watching and need a new market, looks like Moscow is the place for you! Come visit! Until next time, до свидания!

Russian Shopping Part One: Flea Markets

"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one."
- Erma Bombeck

In Moscow, Shopping is so big that I think I'll split it into a few blog posts. But so far, one of my favorite times here was when we went to Izmailovo (is-MY-lah-vuh), this flea market that was about 40 minutes from my house. It was one of my first encounters with Russian architecture, which also deserves its own blog post just because I love it so much. Izmailovo is sort of tacked on to the back of a beautiful church, of which I did not get a picture, unfortunately. Next time;)

So these little huts are basically just sitting behind the church. The church is almost like a fort. It has walls around it and a gate. The flea market is part inside the gate (you have to pay 10 Russian rubles to get in, about 35ish cents) and part outside (free, but they do have Turkish food, so you end up paying there too...dang you delicious doner kebabs). On with the tour...

So, yes, kinda looks like these people are having a garage sale, with all the seemingly useless stuff you can find, but there are actually awesome things at some of the stands. There were old USSR pins, which I though were unbelievably cool even though my dad told me they were copies. And some other things familiar to the land of wealthy Czars and freezing winters. 

Look carefully and you'll see our buddies the Romanovs! For some reason, Royalty fascinates me, ESPECIALLY the Romanovs. There's just something incredible about the scale of their affluence and grandeur. I'm itching to get to St. Petersburg and see their real faberege eggs. But hey, these are pretty cool for the mean-time.

This part was fun. Right when we were dropped off at Izmailovo we went through the gates and saw some friends from church. We were immediately led to this. Now, I didn't come to the land of fur-lovers empty handed. Thanks to Victoria Alperovich, I should have been taken care of in the way of furry hats, but look at them! Real Russian fur hats and bargaining? Couldn't think of a better pair. 

Mark even found something to try on. After much deliberation and pulling the prices WAY down, Annie and I walked away with hats. Woo! We can't wait for Winter, but my little dog doesn't quite know what to do about them. 

Mighty Wolfpack?

Larger shot of the flea market. My dad, the bearded man in the corner (who at this point would probably comment on how studly he is), lovingly carrying our bag. We came to Izmailovo merely to explore, but you can't come here and not find something you have to have. If you still need more convincing, here's a picture taken in the market outside the gate...

Belt buckles to rival Texas. If you'll notice, yes, the Playboy buckle IS connected to a belt in which the word "FASHION" is branded. Oh, the creativity here.

So there. You should come to Moscow to check out the flea markets. Right behind this is the Turkish food stand! See how long you can resist. Or don't, Winter's a coming, and I need y'all. Until next time!  до свидания!

p.s. It's nine hours ahead of you Texas folk here. Just remember what it's like when someone calls YOUR home phone (ours, by the way, is the same number and not long-distance!) in the middle of the night. That said, we'd still love to hear from you! Just look at the clock before you call:)

First Post!

"If we do not find anything very pleasant, at least we shall find something new."
-Johan Friedrick von Schiller


Howdy friends and family! I wanted to start this blog for many reasons. One, because I know I would be itching for details and pictures of EVERYTHING if my friend had just moved to Moscow, so I wanted to provide you with just that. Two, I'm hoping you'll comment on my blog posts so I can hear from you all. Three, Chelsea LeSueur knows what she's talking about. Four, I want to be able to look back at my year-long adventure in Moscow and remember how I felt as it was happening. I'll be posting pictures here and telling you all about the fun things I discover in hopes that I can persuade some of you to hop on an airplane to come see it for yourself. I'm learning as I go, and I can't wait to show you everything!

I got here last Saturday and pretty much went straight to IKEA. Bad idea. In the States, IKEA is great. Its fun to just walk through and see the rooms and imagine living there. Russian IKEA is a different story. First off, it starts with a backwards N. WHAAAAT?!?! That's the cyrilic "I" making it pronounced ee-KAY-uh. So picture this: You just got off a 10 hour flight. You're so jet-lagged that you could fall asleep standing up. You're walking through IKEA, bumping into crowds and crowds of people babbling in a constant stream of gibberish, trying to decide what would match the walls and the floor and the other pieces, and not even having the presence of mind to say "excuse me" in Russian. IKEA is great, it's got everything you need for excellent prices, but I've been there three times in the past week, and we have plans to go again tomorrow. Yippee.

The next place we went that day was Ashan. That's the "Awah" in the picture above. There is a mall that connects IKEA and Ashan. Crowding here was worse than IKEA. In Russia, they don't really say anything if you're in their way. They just ram their shopping cart into you and wait for you to shuffle out of the way. By the time we made it to Ashan, I think we WERE asleep. Let's just say it wasn't the most thorough of shopping trips.  When we went to church the next day, more than one person told us that they have sworn off grocery shopping (especially at Ashan) on Saturdays.

There's so much more to say; believe it or not, there is life after jet-lag and it is a beautiful thing. I miss each and every one of you very, very much. If I haven't lured you in yet, I dont know how I ever could. ;) Until next time! до свидания!